The sleep saga continues... hopefully the worst is over

Last night I got brave and decided that I won't wait to implement teh controlled comforting, just do a slightly gentler version of it to help Maddy learn to sleep on her own without making her more afraid of me leaving her.

I read a couple of chapters out of a few of the books to get a broader knowledge and then had a think about my own situation since I wanted to tailor a routine to suit us rather than just follow the books and feel stuck to the rigid instructions. I realised that Madelyn's best sleep is usually the morning one, straight after her shower with Dad (if I can get her down and don't have anywhere to run off to with Austin) so I thought perhaps the water play is one of her sleep cues at present and I should work with it.

We have always showered the kids with us in the mornings - me with Austy and Andrew with Maddy (she's too heavy for me and I'm always scared I'll drop her with the soap and water). Most do baths in the evening and I know that is the "normal" way of doing things, but with Andrew at work in the evenings it's always a mad rush to get dinner on the table with tired children who need extra attention at that time, and to get them both changed into PJ's and read stories and into bed by their respective bed times so they aren't over tired. Austin especially needs to go to bed at 7:30 on the dot as his behaviour gets out of hand if he's up later, and he never sleeps in longer the next day so it has a flow on effect when he's late to bed. So a bath in the evening was just another thing to make me run around in a panic watching the clock. We also figured that after a whole night in the same nappy, a shower in the mornings cleans the nappy area, and it's easy - since we are having showers anyway the kids just play on the shower floor while we wash (being careful not to get soap or shampoo from us onto their faces).

But since I want Maddy's best sleep to be at night, not after her morning shower, I decided to give just her a bath in the evening. She's in nappies all day and all night so the nappy thing really isn't an issue like it is with Austin who only wears them at night and quite often soaks through it and gets his PJ top wet and needs a thorough wash. The only trick was to make it fit into what is already a rushed and busy time, and keep Austy happy at the same time. I can't bath her in the big bath or he'd want to hop in too and he takes a LOT of coaxing to get out knowing bed is not far away which often makes him late to bed with all the mucking around a night time bath causes. So I decided that she can have her bath in the laundry trough - it's a perfect size for her, and Austy can stand on his step and help. We did that last night - just a quick bath, a little play and then I got to give her a proper massage, something I used to do nightly for Austin as a baby but never have time to do for her as Austy is usually up to mischief at that time. Austy loved it as he got to play in her bath water while I massaged her and we sang songs together to make it even more relaxing for everyone. I kept the bath short so it didn't really add a lot of time into the night time routine, and hopefully I will still be able to keep it up when I am back at work and have to start dinner etc. a bit later. Austin was very pleased with the new routine and wanted to call Andrew straight away to tell him about it and how he's going to help me bath Maddy each night. It was really nice to see how much he enjoyed helping.

Then, after I let both kids pick a book and read them to both of them tucked into Austy's bed, I said goodnight to Austy and took Maddy out for her feed. I managed to get away with a quick 20min feed instead of the 1-2hr one she has been having, as I took her off the breast every time she stopped sucking and closed her eyes. My first step is to not let her fall asleep at the breast anymore! Then I popped her in her cot awake and the controlled comforting began, but I stayed with her for the first 5 minutes rather than just leaving her immediately and then didn't leave her crying longer than the 6 minute mark rather than letting it build up to 10mins. She was asleep within 45 minutes which was better than how long the breatsfeed to sleep has been taking but she had quite a protest and each time I went back to her she was clinging to the bars of her cot screaming "Mumumumum!" - quite heartbreaking to hear since I've never really left her to cry like that in her life.

I thought we'd had success since she was asleep so quickly but she woke every 40-60mins the whole night through. One to Maddy. None to Mum! The good thing was that the crying sessions got shorter as the night went on and for her morning nap today she was asleep in that first 5 minutes while I stayed in her room (hands on, patting or stroking while she cried, hands off when she was calm so she can learn to sleep without me patting her).

The other thing I have introduced is a snuggle toy - she has always had a little bear in her cot while she slept but since she's now going to be left in there awake more (I have always gone to her moments after she has awoken so there has been no danger in the past) I decided that the bear really isn't safe as it has beans that could come out if she bites it, and she has already chewed off half his nose! She likes to hold my thumb when she falls asleep on the breast so I am now switching the thumb for the bunny blankie's ear or paw. I think I might make her a few simple, washable, identical snuggle toys (quite soon so she doesn't get too attached to the bunny one that I can't replace so easily). With three identical toys, we can have one for the nappy bag to use in the car or pram when out, one for her cot, and one to rotate through the wash.

Hoping for a better night tonight.